I think my biggest problem with God over the years was that I’d rather go to hell than submit and kneel to a demanding, angry God.  I wasn’t going to be cowed into obedience.  The more I felt he wanted to push me to my knees, the more stiff-necked I became.  I think I’ve finally figured out that this junkyard dog, nasty god-image (yes, lower case here) reflected my life view (rough, tough and very defensive) more than anything. 

Today, having let peace and trust and love into my life, along with loving, caring people, I find – guess what?  Surprise!  Surprise! – that the God I’ve been wrestling with is a God of love and friendship.  (He could have crushed me in an instant, but never pinned me or imposed upon me.)  I like this guy … like Him a lot.  And I’m finding that Jesus is more big bro and buddy who I can admire and look up to than judge of my many foibles and flaws. Pretty neat.

My point:  Not all that sure, except that I’m very much enjoying (finally!) this voyage of discovery … learning and seeing things I’d never imagined.  And it wasn’t so much that God was distant or angry, but that I was blocking Him, refusing to let Him in.  Oh, and btw, when I kneel down in prayer, it is with respect and joy.  Yes, I do sometimes struggle still with the idea of a God of love and friendship, but I am getting to genuinely like and trust this God of mine. – jri

"The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit

that we are God’s children.  Now if we are

children, then we are heirs -- heirs of God

and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share

in his sufferings in order that  we may also

share in his glory."

n  St. Paul

Romans 8:16-17